A Traumatized Nation

WHEN CULTURE FAILS

A NATION DIVIDED AND IN CRISIS AS A RESULT OF THE PANDEMIC

As far back as the 1990s, Bassel van der Kolk told us that culture buffers trauma and that when cultures fail, people are at risk. The recent assassination attempt is an example of a culture that failed to buffer trauma. Confusion and conflict about how best to handle the Covid-19 Pandemic resulted in a generation of students who were disempowered by having so many things in their lives abruptly changed. So many of the activities (schools, recreational activities, restaurant closures, interacting with others without a mask, etc.) were suddenly stopped. This alone would have been traumatic for any young person, but they were then further traumatized by all of the political conflict, the misinformation, the inconsistency of messages about what they were to do. One week, they could attend school if they wore masks, distanced from one another, and spent much time washing their hands. The next week some were told that had to school on-line because of a covid breakout as their political leaders, the adults in their lives, and people in the media fought about whether or not this was really necessary. Instead of acting-out in response to this chaos, many behavioral health providers and teachers witnessed a strange phenomena.

Many were compliant, possibly too compliant as they witnessed adults in crisis who failed to model what every young person needs to see modeled by the significant adults in their lives: how people can

AGREE-TO-DISAGREE AND STILL GET ALONG

At Deerwood Family Services, we received referrals from several parents who saw several symptoms in their children and teens, symptoms that were different from those acting-out behavioral issues that normally lead parents to seek help, The intake calls were different. Parents were seeing obsessive-compulsive symptoms, dissociative responses, fugue states that involved leaving home and wandering alone somewhere, sometimes with no memory or how or why they left the house, extreme anxiety that went far beyond the typical fight-flight responses that behavioral health providers normally see and work with. the typical flight

Some parents were able to shield their children and teens from the chaos, confusion, conflict, and inconsistency of those first few pandemic years. They sought help for their children when they saw symptoms of distress that went beyond what they could manage.

Some children and teens were able to shield themselves, forming on-line gaming communities or constructive, enjoyable, bubbles of on-line interaction with each other. They were the lucky ones. They emerged from those very difficult years with strength, resilience, and new coping skills that will help them get through future crises.

Too many, however, did not get the help they needed. Their parents and teachers were so overwhelmed with crisis themselves, that they didn’t notice what was happening to their children. Traumatic exposures and crisis can result in a type of psychic numbness (emotional shutdown) that protects the traumatized adult but shuts down their empathy for others. The children and teens were emotionally isolated and alone in their coping. Too many of them regressed or dissociated or turned to each other for support. Some simply collapsed and submitted to whatever…. Some adults did the same.

How do we, as a nation, come out of this? Let’s talk.

We conducted a needs assessment study as the active phase of the pandemic began to wind down. The community leaders and parents who responded told us what they perceive as needed. If you want to help us address some of these needs, please call us at 724 733-2928 and leave your name, location, phone number and email address so that we can talk about new program development so desperately needed by those who have not yet recovered from what the pandemic did to them developmentally.

For our initial post at the start of the pandemic, and for the list of trauma/post-trauma symptoms, please see below.

COVID-19 TRAUMATIC DISTRESS INDICATORS

As this pandemic crisis and communal social distancing policy continues beyond the initial two-week period that we first heard about, we are witnessing a number of responses among children that signal an urgent need for crisis intervention. Here's a list of some of the things to watch for:

Fear of anything that could possibly be contaminated overgeneralizing to a fear of touching, using, and/or eating in general;

Anger that is being externalized and projected onto siblings, parents, and even pets;

Agoraphobia, an irrational fear of going outside at all...even to the extent of keeping curtains and blinds closed all day;

Oppositional defiance involving extreme risk-taking behaviors, risks not just associated with catching the virus, but risks about other things, as well;

Regressive behaviors, behaviors that would be typical of a child who is age four or younger;

Sleep disturbances that affect cognitive functioning and ability to focus during the day, especially when it comes to completing academic activities from home.

Loss of any empathic ability demonstrated before this pandemic occurred.

False assumptions, self-blame, and other cognitive distortions created by the child, in his or her mind, in an attempt to make sense of a pandemic that they can't understand;

Self-harm and/or harm-to-others stemming from an inability to regulate anger and/or an attempt to control.

Added as a result of intake calls during and after the pandemic"

Dissociative responses

Fugue states

Obsessive-compulsive behaviors

Leaving home without parental permission to be with others

Avoidant behavior, especially avoidance of reminders

Extreme hypervigilance manifesting as a different type of attention deficit disorder or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder but not responsive to medication

If you are seeing any of these disturbing behaviors, please call us (724 733-2928) or call your county crisis-line for crisis intervention assistance. Deerwood Family Services is keeping at least three hours available daily for rapid, tele-health, crisis intervention responding with children and families. These hours range from 6 to 9 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.

We are also seeing some amazing signs of resilience and strength among the children we work with or have contact with. Many of them are applying the distress tolerance skills we taught them previously in ways that are actually helping their parents and others cope. Don't be discouraged if the child you are with is not one of these resilient little helpers.

Children change during a crisis.

The changes that occur can be positive ones, especially if they know that someone cares enough about them to try to help. Sometimes the changes associated with that little bit of help are seen immediately. Sometimes, those changes don't show up until years later, but they tell us---years later---that the crisis they went through, and that little bit of caring and help that they received during the crisis, made all the difference. We call it "post-traumatic growth" and it is very real and long-lasting.

We are all in crisis right now. It is too easy for adults to lose their empathy when in crisis. This is empathy that the children have to have if they are going to come out of this with post-traumatic growth as opposed to post-traumatic stress disorder. Please do not wait to call for help. Neither you, nor we, will ever know or get credit for what we prevented. We have a responsibility to do that prevention work now so that we can try to insure that the children and youth of our generation come through this pandemic with resiliency characteristics that will carry them through the later crisis situations that come with the vulnerabilities of life. Helping the young people we are able to have contact with is something that all of us can do. Some of us can't be with our children or grandchildren right now for safety reasons. It hurts us, but it hurts them even more. If this is the situation you are in, think about giving that smile, communication, or resource that you would share with your own to someone else's child. You might be the only one who is able to demonstrate that "caring enough to try" that will make the difference between post-traumatic growth versus post-traumatic stress disorder in their later life.